I am so pissed right now. At myself. Don't worry, I'm not that guy who lashes out at his loved ones because he needs to project his self-loathing away from himself.
I thought I was doing well... Getting my financial shit in line... I am... I guess. But the other shoe dropped. It's not a Wellington or even a hiking shoe. It's a tennis shoe, maybe. A Converse All-Star. Or a beat up K-Swiss. In the long run, it's probably a novelty sock that has a shoe design on it. Super-cute. What? Oh yeah. Hells and Ass!!!
Last Sunday, my girlfriend and I talked through my financial condition and I began to implement a plan of action. I paid out overdue bills, caught up on some debt, and my rent. I came out a few dollars ahead and had $26 in cash on-hand that I was going to stretch out for two weeks until my next paycheck came in. I could just squeak by provided I ate what was left in the apartment and bike 75% of the time.
But today, I discovered that a bill from a week and a half ago I paid over the phone had not kicked in as quickly as I thought it had. I assumed it had been paid off before my Sunday financial showdown. It hadn't. It went through today. What was a few dollars ahead came out to over $75 in the hole. I didn't have enough in my savings to cover it.
Doodling Futureshit...
So... My $26 for food next week and maybe a train ride had to go straight into my checking account. Between that and my savings account, I still didn't have enough. So I had to break into a little cash storage place my girlfriend and I have and pull out an Andrew Jackson. And write a bleeding I.O.U.
Now I have a glorious $3 in my checking account. And that's it. I'm out of savings. And I can't put anything on my credit card anymore. I have enough fare on my train card for maybe four trips. That's two days of work to-and-fro. I'm only going to use it if it rains. I hope it doesn't rain. I hope the weather is beautiful next week. And I hope I can scrounge enough food from around the kitchen to last the next eight days. I get really irritable and hopeless when my blood sugar drops.
I'm so angry with myself for not checking to see if that bill payment went through. I know now I need to check my balance every day and really focus on what's going in and out. I have to be a laser. It's my own fault, but it still feels unfair.
On the plus side, I addressed the situation before the payment cleared. I avoided an overdraft fee. Oh, and remember how I was talking about raising my energy levels? Well it seems that being freaked out and angry pushes my energy way up. So that's the secret! Be freaked out and angry every day. You'll die early from stress, but you won't sleep, so your life expectancy will even out with some calm motherfucker who naps in a hammock all the time.
If you're bad with finances... check your accounts often! Even if you "know" what's going on in there. Because you probably don't.
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