I suspect my mid-weeks may become pockets of danger zones.
No, Kenny. Not that kind. I mean emotional danger zones.
Much like last Wednesday, I'm feeling like I have to really push to get over the hump. Putting in a full week of work and using the bulk of my free time to dig myself out of this financial mess is exhausting. It took all I had just to check in on the status of my student loan deferment (it's still pending).
It's not like I had a bad day. This morning I had a job interview. I hope I don't get it. It's going to be a nightmare of stress if I do. I don't think it fits me and my personality. On the plus side, I interviewed well and they took me quite seriously. The night before, I rehearsed answers to questions I felt they would ask, I researched their company, and prepared questions of my own. I was confidant and relaxed. I looked ever so handsome. The prep work I put in really paid off. During the interview I noticed that I am much more hire-worthy and charming than I thought I was. I'm getting better at selling the product I call "Me." I was duly impressed with how I handled myself compared to previous interviews.
So it was a mixed success. I don't regret going because there was a little self discovery happening there. And I saw it as a valuable practice session for shooting for a job I would prefer down the line.
Still, I felt inexplicably disconsolate.
Afterwards, I biked to work for five hours. On the way home, my bike seat broke off. Sadness ensued. That incident pushed me into a bit of despair. The last thing I need right now when I'm trying to climb out of debt is to have my cheapest mode of transportation break down on me.
That and I've had a headache all day.
The weekend is arriving. But for now, I am drained.
Am I going to be able to handle the dips in energy while I'm trying to chip away at something that feels insurmountable? I have no choice, I guess. I'm really sick of being poor and static. But it's amazing that I am not yet two weeks into this challenge and my excitement is ebbing.
I'm going to take some asprin and pretend my water is a Guinness.
