I'm absolutely, ridiculously sick of it. I tried to get around it by thinking, "I'm an artist. Being poor and grimy is the price I must pay." I've tried to be spiritual about it by praising paucity as a sign of impending enlightenment (you can tell I was a bit new age-y). I've even tried visualizing money so it manifests in my subjective universe (you can tell I was really new age-y). I've eeeeven tried...
Working for it? Yeah, kind of.
I work my ass off when I'm in a play or I have some deadline to fulfill (provided that deadline is imposed by an outside source). But after awhile I get exhausted and angry for not being further along than I am. That makes me depressed and fatalistic. So I do nothing productive for days on end. THAT in turn makes me anxious and irritable. And then I yell at myself inside my mind because I'm too aware of my shortcomings to take it out on somebody else.
This blog is about changing all that. I have GOT to alter this cycle of desolation and learn to love the challenge of finding that productive life we crave.
So here's to it...
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